For The Players’ Tribune, J. Cole penned “The Audacity,” an article detailing a few moments of his life that merged into his career choices. Cole has always been transparent in his music, regardless of love or hate, but the article shares his mindset during some of those moments.

It’s a known fact that Cole went to college, and while in school, he still wanted to become a “rap legend.”While his resume and pen game speaks for itself, he shares just how that reality may not have happened. Cole shares that while at St. John’s University, he was at a crossroads. He had tried out for the basketball team his sophomore year (after missing his freshman year), and he made it past the first round, and got invited to the final round. And at 6:00 in the morning, Cole made a major life decision.

“I was one of the 10 hopefuls that got a call back from day one. I stared at the ceiling while lying in bed, contemplating my final decision. On paper, the thought of potentially making a college basketball team roster should have been exciting, but for the past 24 hours I was going through it… That morning, as I lay in bed, I was at a fork in the road. Turn left and live a life dedicated to basketball and the long and arduous pursuit of a far fetched NBA career. Or turn right and go do what you came here to do. As the clock struck 6:15, I rolled over, covered my face with the comforter and went back to sleep.”

Cole’s NBA dreams were far from over. He also shares how he had a vision of playing ball, while also still pursuing music from the beginning of his career after just signing to Jay-Z. “If I can blow up in the next three years, that means I’ll only be 27,” Cole remembered.” That still might give me enough time to train and pursue a professional basketball career. I’ll work hard enough to go play overseas and then try to work my way to the NBA.”

It was in 2015, the year after releasing 2014 Forest Hills Drive, where Cole would essentially face another crossroad. Cole got to rest, relax and do regular, everyday things. “I had just finished a world tour and now found myself lying comfortably on the couch of my apartment in North Carolina with a wedding ring on, doing the type of regular shit I hadn’t given myself permission to do for the past 5 or 6 years.”

Having a break, then trying to create new music led to Cole realizing he was missing the hunger for rap. It wasn’t the same for him. “I asked myself, “What’s up?” My relationship with music felt like a marriage that was at a crossroads. There were no arguments, just occasional bland conversations followed by lots of silence that said it all. The fire was gone.”

Well it’s clear that that Cole went the complete opposite direction. And it took self reflecting to get to that point. “If your career was over tomorrow, would you have any regrets? Things you didn’t do that you wish you had done?” I felt a clear “yes” fill my body.”

Having released two more albums in 2015, and his most recent (and controversial) single, “Snow on Tha Bluff,“along with building his Dreamville label, it’s clear he isn’t done.

“Four years have passed. In that time I’ve been blessed with two sons, learned the delicate art of balance between parenthood and career, had the pleasure of working with a ton of talented artists as a featured rapper, spent 10 magical days recording a Dreamville album in Atlanta, and put a lot of time and energy into sharpening my sword and growing as an artist. The fire that was once dying out has returned, and for that I’m grateful. “