On the outside looking in, Brian Tyree Henry has been living on a success high after landing the role of Paper Boi on the successful show “Atlanta,” but he has revealed that it’s hard for him to enjoy his success fully after burying 2 close friends and his mother.

Via. GQ

“What kills me is everyone’s like, ‘How do you feel about this Emmy nomination?’ My mother’s dead,” Henry told GQ. “Every time I close my eyes, I see my hand on her casket. Every time I close my eyes, I hear my necklace bang on her casket. That’s the last time I saw her. That’s the only thing that gets me out of bed, and it’s sometimes the thing that keeps me in it.”

Henry said that being busy has helped him deal with the grief, but added that without her “I don’t really get a chance to rejoice in it.” Also including that prior to his mother’s passing, he buried his 2 best friends a year a part the years before.

“I’ve buried a person every year for three years. I lost my best friend to cancer; then I lost my other best friend the next year to lupus. And I lost my mom to a fucking car accident. She wasn’t even sick. She died in the most awful fucking way. So it’s like… I haven’t had a chance to even think about that. But I still have to survive,” he continued.

“It’s hard to do this stuff. It’s just like she died yesterday, man,” he added. “I haven’t even looked at a photograph of my mom since she died. I can’t look at her. And yet people are still celebrating and lauding this thing that I did about my mom. When, at the end of the day, I can’t really rejoice in what I did, because I’m still in pain.”

Henry, our thoughts and prayers are with you!