Beautiful (inside & out) model, author, and actress Chrissy Teigen has opened up about her quiet battle with postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter Luna with musical husband John Legend.

Teigen opened up about her postpartum depression, which is a type of clinical depression after childbirth that can actually affect both sexes, in a recent essay with Glamour Magazine.

While calling her pregnancy with Luna “wonderful” and “energetic,” she remained honest and vulnerable speaking about moments of anxiety and the emotional breakdowns she faced after having Luna in April 2016.

“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful,” she shares. “My lower back throbbed; my ­shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people.

I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role (Spike TV’s Lip Sync Battle): Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.

When I wasn’t in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. I’d ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I know—I had every shade closed. Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn’t have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying.”

It wasn’t until a  doctor’s visit in December where Teigen’s eyes were to having postpartum depression.  Teigen stated she had a skewered view of the condition and felt like her lifestyle didn’t allow her to have PPD.

“I know I might sound like a whiny, entitled girl,” she said. “Plenty of people around the world in my situation have no help, no family, no access to medical care. I can’t imagine not being able to go to the doctors that I need. It’s hurtful to me to know that we have a president who wants to rip health care away from women. I look around every day and I don’t know how people do it. I’ve never had more respect for mothers, especially mothers with postpartum depression.”

In the end, Teigen says she’s thankful for Legend, her mother, co-workers and others who have helped her with her through her difficulty, and that having postpartum depression hasn’t stopped her from wanting to give Luna siblings.

All of a sudden everyone's "how are you!" turns to "how arrrrrre you??????" know what I'm saying? No? Yes? Ah

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 6, 2017

Important note: please don't feel like you have to tiptoe around me! It is the most uncomfortable feeling ahhhh only downside to sharing PPD

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 6, 2017